


Sexy Mag

by ectocosme



Series: crack week 2017 [3]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, I Tried, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12833256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ectocosme/pseuds/ectocosme
Summary: third entry for the crack week corresponding to the fourth day, since I didn't do the thirdZack is waiting for an interview with Rufus and stumble on a Turk with a dirty magazine





	Sexy Mag

Shinra was quite the oddity for Zack. More exactly, a lot of oddities stacked on each other with oddities hiding behind it. The mystery about Angeal's childhood was one. The fact that Genesis was madly in love with him and kept saying bad boys were his thing too. Turk's coffee, which worked on SOLDIERs, and was consequently sold overpriced. And so on.

Zack shrugged it all off and went on his life. Nothing had been too strange-disturbing for him not to cope.

Yet.

Although he was in SOLDIER for three months top now, he still ignored a lot on his comrade. And the scientists. And the Turks.

One was admiring page of a magazine not far from Zack as he waited for his reunion with Lazard. The redhead hummed approvingly and flicked the stick in his mouth around.

The redhead – Reno, Zack recalled – snorted and flicked to the next page. Zack leaned on his bench toward the other where the redhead was lying, a foot swinging a little. It was a bit difficult to see anything with the magazine held above Reno's head, but Zack saw a nude leg.

“Yo! You can come look up if you want buddy.”

Taken by surprise, Zack made a choked up sound and almost fell from his own bench. Reno hadn't changed position, nor looked at him. Zack bit the inside of his cheek, recalling Angeal's advise not to mingle with the Turks, and went to sit down next to the other. Reno was almost his age anyway, and Zack wanted some friends.

“Ever seen a sexy magazine?” Reno asked while handing him the thing.

Zack snorted – he was sixteen please – and flicked some pages, he frowned at the one he stopped at. It was a girl in her fifties, in fishnet and a position that made her ass come out.

“What's this? They aren't models?”

“Nah, it's the annual Sexy Scientists Mag,” Reno said, his head turned toward Zack and his hands tucked under his shirt, on his stomach. “The poor guys are poor as fuck and beg for money like this.”

Zack turned a page while asking, “Poor? Whit the allowance of their Department? You're kidding me?”

“Hojo and Hollander steal everything.”

The next wasn't better, the man was skinny as a match, he bent in such a way you could see his ribs. Zack hissed and changed the page.

“Why aren't Turks doing anything then?”

“Because that's funny, yo!”

Zack made a moue but flipped the next page. He whistled at the pretty couple there, turned three quarter toward the objective.

The woman was a lavish redhead, sat on the edge of a work table with only her lab coat on her, looking straight at the camera. Though, her companion was hiding the good bits. He stood in front of her, between her thighs and wore nothing above his waist except for her pretty legs wrapped around it. He looked stricken at her while she teased the viewer. Zack thirsted after the man's back. It wasn't as muscled as Angeal, but it looked soft and he had broad shoulders with a golden skin. Both were yummy.

“Ah, yes. Mrs. and M. Hodson.” Reno sighed wistfully. “Everyone wants to be walked on by them. At the same time. But they're exclusives.”

“They look like a power couple,” Zack grumbled, his hope shattered.

He flipped to the next page and made a face, only to pass quickly the old man who never saw light nor a salad in his life. Zack didn't want to be some judgmental type, but he was a horny teenager and this wasn't his type at all.

The next was a cute brunette that made him smile in response to her own bright pink smile. She managed to look cute and flirtatious at the same time with her pencil skirt open on the side, and with arms pressing on her chest making her boobs stand out from her shirt.

“Hum.”

“Nope, not her. Lydia is spoken for.”

“Aw shucks! Is everyone pretty taken?”

“Don't be like that buddy, the magazine is here for shit and giggles mostly. Come on, look at the rest and cheer up, yo!”

“But I want a girlfriend!” Zack whined. “Boyfriend. Whatever.”

“Not a scientist buddy. Believe me, yo.”

The young SOLDIER huffed only to choke on his own saliva when he saw the next photograph. The man here was laying on a metal table, holding himself on his arms. He was shirtless and his nipples stood out, but his kissy-duck-mouth and half-lidded eyes were awful. Somehow, he looked like a seal. A bit less cute.

“Not a scientist you say, not a Turk Angeal told me. What do I have then?”

“SOLDIERs, yo! They're all gorgeous!”

Zack snorted at the lanky woman spilling some red liquid from a jar on herself and looking positively ridiculous. But the hint of a smile on her lips made Zack realise she'd been ready to burst out laughing too.

“They all see me as Angeal's puppy.”

“Then you have the troopers.”

Zack froze, “I never thought of them!”

“If you want, I'll fetch you an Our Sexy Military next week. You'll find something for your eyes.” Reno winked, just as Rufus opened the door, asking for his journal only to shoo away Reno the moment he had it in hand. The redhead stopped at Zack's side and put a hand on his shoulder, “Hope I'll see you in the next edition of Loveless SOLDIERs.”

“Yeah, sure,” Zack answered automatically before he froze. He swirled toward the redhead, already at the end of the hall, “Wait! What?”

For only answer, Zack heard Reno's cackle echoing down the hall.

 

**Author's Note:**

> prompt was: sexy shinra scientists


End file.
